Frustrated

I am now aware of the fact that I have a short fuse. This has also made itself known to me several times this year. Today I didn't feel like going to band so I didn't, I just slept and I'm glad I did. I needed to close myself out from the world and what better way to do it then sleeping. I was practicing piano and I can play the songs I have pretty fairly, but my scales really sent me over the edge. I can't do it. I'm trying to sing songs that I want to audition for Autumn again with. I can't do it. All these things that I can't add up to what I want to. I want to live a life that God will be pleased with. I can't do it. Chris Shields once said and I quote -My grace is sufficient for thee. Thats true that God has extended his grace to me because obviously I can't do it or anything close to what he wants by myself. All I can say is please spring break come faster. During the Autumn trip this weekend, lying in the back of the van about to become taken over by an Autumn induced coma I thought to myself how much I wanted to just quit breathing. Nothing too serious, no worries. But the thought popped up in my head because thats how my views of life have become. Life as it is will go on without me whether I'm here or not. And it seems that while I'm here and I have my foot in a few things to say the least, its still going on whether I'm ready for it too or not. I just think about some of my classes and how they are going right now and that same thought comes up. I can't do it. As I sit here not sleeping because I'm not in the mood. I just want to people to know that my mood as of right now is. I can't do It.




-My grace is sufficient for Thee